Plot

31.12.2025 - Song - ??? I'm not sure yet lol

Writing New years resolutions after the first semester of university (or I could do getting settled into uni September 22, 2023 (exactly 2 years later from the start of the novel)

Dear 17-year-old me, I think that ultimately, I’ve become the person who would have saved you that time nobody did. You seem to think that in order to be ‘successful in life you must vanquish all your problems. I disagree. I believe that you can wander through life alongside your troubles, for our struggles are what make us human, they let us feel. As Oscar Wilde once wrote ‘To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people simply exist.’ So here is the tale of how I came to begin truly living.

• Chapter 1 -

  About (just over) 2 years previously: (Friday, September 22 2023)

  I couldn’t remember a time when the presence of my Ma wasn’t lavender or when talking to Kim didn’t cause the sickly sweet taste of carnival candy floss to flood my mouth, which yes, I’m aware, is abnormal, although it took me far too long to realise not everyone experienced these peculiar phenomenons. After several occurrences in which I offhandedly mentioned flavours and scents to somebody and received that same odd look portraying scepticism of my sanity, I unsurprisingly resolved to keep my weird sensations to myself. But even so, I often found myself pondering what my flavour could be. Perhaps the rich chocolatey taste forever enchanting my tastebuds or the all-so-familiar scent of coffee, or something ironic like pineapple, I’m allergic. Irony did seem to follow me around like a shadow.

  A bag clunked down next to me, jolting me out of my daydreams, I glanced up to see Rose standing above me wearing one of the many sponge-bob tees she owned, holding out my usual blueberry frappe with extra cream.

  “Thanks” I reached out and took the drink, as Rose flopped beside me, sinking into the moth-ridden beanbag.

  I hadn’t needed to look up to know it was Rose, her cherry flavour had already given her away, perfectly portraying her bubbly, sweet personality.

  “nice outfit” she smirked, no doubt referring to my unusual choice of post-gym leggings and an old sweater.

  “Oh shut up, you’d want to relax comfortably if you’d just finished an hour of beam drills”

  “Yeah, yeah, now you don’t have any homework you needa do, right?”

  I racked my mind quickly for any essays I may have needed to complete but unfortunately couldn’t come up with anything.

  “No, I suppose not” I sighed

  “Brilliant! Well, then I’m assuming you’d be delighted to discuss my latest issue with the problems of Harry Potter?” Rose asked with a grin evident on her face.

  I groaned, faking my disinterest with a sly smile before being unceremoniously poked in the ribs.

  “Ok, ok, I give in to your horrible lectures on fictional politics, but not willingly!” I laughed, trying to keep up the facade of being thoroughly disinterested.

  “You love them really,” She says, shaking her head at her friend's childish antics.

  Rose was right of course, I thoroughly enjoyed her ramblings as chaotic and pointless though they often were.

  As Rose rambled on and explained all her random thoughts on house elves I settled down savouring my drink. I enjoyed the peace the small cafe library always immediately bestowed upon me every time I entered the cream french doors whether for work or grabbing a refreshment after gym. The entire place had a vintage ambience to it. Bookshelves lined the walls and potted plants could be found on book stacks or window sills, not to mention the best part. Cats. Several well-behaved cats roamed the cafe at will and were quite content with sitting on my lap when I wasn’t working a shift.

  While Rose spoke, Eloise, who was a bit older than us but had just started waitressing there, came over to deliver the scones and strawberry jam I’d ordered earlier. I’d been rostered on with Eloise a few times already and she’d seemed pretty nice if you didn’t mind incessant fangirling over Shawn Medes, something Rose found hilarious and never missed an opportunity to tease the poor oblivious girl over.

  Rose and I went silent as we munched on our food. I scooped up Mouse, my favourite cat, seeing as I’d personally rescued him one night when closing up. He snuggles in my lap clearly desiring attention so I absently mindedly stroked him and remembered the first time I’d met Rose back in 4th grade.

  ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ was long overdue to be returned to the school library, which was quite unusual for me, but i’d really wanted to finish it and it had so many pages (keeping in mind I was 9). So when Wednesday, last period rolled around and it was class library visit time Mrs Mayers the grouchy old librarian recognises me and immediately starts blabbering about the ‘importance and responsibility of returning school property punctually’ in a shrill tone. When suddenly Rose, whose class was also in the library at the time came, came strutting, hand placed on her hip pursing her lips and demanded to know if I was ‘Finally going to her book because she has been waiting foreeeeeever’

  Rose was still very passionate about her books, however, her bossy qualities had calmed down a tad (thankfully). She was rather like Hermione Granger in that aspect. By the time I managed to escape her ridiculous speech, the sun had almost set and the night was setting it.

  I leant against the cool bricks of the house as my headlights flickered off behind me enjoying a brief moment to myself to mentally prepare myself for the seemingly endless fights which I thought would engulf me when I swung open the front door. I braced myself as I turned the knob waiting for the familiar sound of my father's yell, or a shaming vase to reach my ers. But it didn’t come.

  I entered the room, and instantly I understood, It had happened. Ma wasn’t sitting in her usual chair by the fireplace but rather was splayed awkwardly across the run, tears streaming down her cheeks. I dropped my gym bag and rushed over to envelop her in a hug. They’d been on the edge forever, Dad and Ma that i, aways shounting, Ma on the verge o breaking down, Kim terrified to ask him for anything for fear of being yelled at, not that hed been around much to talk to anyway. He had gone to a new years party last night and I suppose he must of drunk too much. Again.

  “Oh Mamma” I whispered even thought it was absurd for anyone to be miserable about him leaving, But she still loved him. We stayed tangles up like that on the floor for some time and apparently the tears were contagious, because soon we were both bawling our eyes out list in thoughts. I remember the day when I had a Dad who would come to gymnastics meets, school concerts, or even be home in Kims birthday. It was silly to wish he’d come back, that man had disappeared a long time ago.

  Once I’d coaxed Ma into eating some instant noodles and gotten her to sleep (on the couch), I called Grandma Maple to let her know what’d happenes and that I was planning on dropping kim of at her place around 2pm tomorrow. I didn;t know what I’d say to Kim when I saw her, but I didnt want her home when Ma was like that.

  Normally I’m an early riser but that day I woke up at 8 feeling groggy, It was lucky I didn’t have gym until 10 on saturdays. I walked sleepily down the stairs to get Ma out if bed and when she didn’t even acknowledge me I knew this was going to be a hard few weeks for both us. After 20 unsuccessful minutes of trying to get her to eat, I gave up and decided to drive to gym earlier. I gave Ma a hug which she didn’t reciprocate before heading out the door.

  I parked my beetle a few blocks away and wandered through the senic garden revelling in the crisp morning air and t

Present tense? 2025 - 1 year into recovery